502 W Water St, | Elmira, NY 14905 | Phone (607) 733-6271
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Sunday, June 9, 2024
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Saying goodbye to my friend Pap
Written by Jim Pfiffer
This past Saturday I attended a graveside service for my late friend, Brian “Pap” Pappalardo.
He died March 24 after several years of illness and injuries at age 64.
Pap was the editor of this weekly column for the last three years. He was my editor when we worked together at the Elmira Star-Gazette newspaper.
He was more than my friend and editor. He was my confidant, teacher, sounding board and the man I most trusted for column advice.
For more than 20 years he edited what I wrote in the Star-Gazette. That meant dealing with my stubbornness, poor grammar and refusal to listen to reason – all traits of most temperamental writers.
I’m always misplacing commas, misspelling words and making other grammar mistakes. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks and you can’t get an old writer to go back and learn grammar basics.
Editing my writing and listening to my rants, stupid ideas and stubborn decisions was hell on Earth.
That’s how I knew Pap went straight to heaven. He did his time and paid his Earthbound dues, dealing with me.
He never judged but advised.
He never complained or gave up on me.
Last summer, when I grew stale and tired of weekly writing, Pap convinced me to take off some time and recharge my creative batteries. He was right again.
Several months later, my Energizer bunny was fully charged and ready to write.
Pap and I had different senses of humor. Mine tends to be depraved and deprived. Pap’s was sophisticated, intelligent and, well, less insulting.
But his insight made him aware that I wrote for readers who shared my sense of humor, not his. He didn’t let his values influence my writing.
He let me have the last say and decision about what stayed or was deleted from my columns, even when I was wrong, and he was right.
That’s the sign of a good editor.
That’s the respect of a good friend.
Many times, he tried to convince me that what I wrote would offend readers and get me in trouble, but he never insisted that I delete it.
He was usually right. It only took me a few dozen heard-headed instances to realize it. He never said, “I told you so.”
That’s when I started running my column ideas by him or asking him to help me when I had writer’s block or block-headed ideas. He possessed an empathetic and calming personality that made it easier for me to listen to his commonsense suggestions.
His experience, sensitivity and words of wisdom were the polish that buffed my hard-edged words into shining prose.
While Pap was a great editor, he was an even greater friend.
I never saw him angry, and that’s a difficult accomplishment when you spend decades dealing with me.
He spent the last three years in hospitals and healthcare facilities battling illnesses. But I never saw him despondent or heard him complain about his health. I don’t know how he did it.
He was always positive and a gentleman. Never raised his voice. Never had a bad word to say. That was Pap.
We talked often to share memories of growing up in Elmira, as high school rivals: Pap a Blue Devil from the former Elmira Free Academy High School and me a green hornet from the former Southside High School. Today the two schools combined into Elmira High School.
We reminisced our days at the Star-Gazette, laughed at all the newsroom tomfoolery, bemoaned the state of print journalism today and relished the friendships and knowledge our careers gave us.
Because Pap was a New York Yankees fan and I, a Boston Red Sox lover, we were rival baseball mortal enemies, like a cobra and mongoose. But Pap never dissed the Sox or rubbed it in my face with them damn Yankees spanked Boston’s behind.
That was Pap. Always a gentleman and caring friend.
Editors are the unseen ghostwriters of great prose. They are rarely seen, recognized or thanked for all that they do.
This column is for you, old buddy.
I can’t thank you enough for all that you did to make me a better writer and a better man.
I think of you each time I misplace a comma, dangle a participle or my subject doesn’t agree with my predicate (I’m not sure what the hell a predicate is).
All of us who knew him will never forget that Brian Charles Pappalardo was a great man, editor and friend.
P.S. Bob Jamieson has taken over as my editor. He too is a great editor and friend. I worked with him at the Star-Gazette. Fortunately, he is a Philadelphia Phillies fan and out of my league.
Jim Pfiffer’s humor columns and Filomena Jack’s, of Filomena Jack Studio’s, funny illustrations can be found on their Facebook pages, nextdoor.com, southerntierlife.com, “Full of Wit” blog https://fullofwitblog.wordpress.com/ and “Outlook By the Bay,” magazine, outlookbythebay.com. These columns are posted weekly unless Pfiffer gets lazy and then who knows when they will be posted. He’s very irresponsible. Stay tuned.
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Erin Sansone posted a condolence
Monday, April 1, 2024
Brian and I worked together at the Star-Gazette, and that was my first time being around someone that wasn’t a boss, but instead, a leader and a mentor. He shared his knowledge, and provided a space to learn. It has been years since we worked together, but we frequently messaged and sent each other funny holiday cards. No one has a better laugh than Brian. I’m a better person for knowing him, and the world is a better place having him in it. Going to miss you, B-Man. Your friend forever, E.K.
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Patricia Baker posted a condolence
Sunday, March 31, 2024
He was a truly good person who treated everyone around him as important people. The Elmira Star Gazette was fortunate to have him all those years.
Brian was a real mensch. A person of unimpeachable decency. A role model for those lucky enough to work with him.
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Ed Robinson posted a condolence
Friday, March 29, 2024
Brian was a student of mine at EFA in the mid-70's. I remember him as a fine young man and an excellent student. And what an outstanding career he had as a journalist ! My sincere condolences are with all of Brian's family.
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Mary Ann OHerron posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
I had the incredible fortune of working with Brian at Corning Incorporated where he engaged as a freelance writer. He was such a pleasure to work with and always added such a creative spin to our news publications. Moreover, such a lovely and talented gentleman with a good heart and always a smile in his voice. Rest in beautiful eternal peace, dear Brian. Thank you for everything. It was a true pleasure.
Mary Ann O'Herron
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Bob Jamieson posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Brian and I worked together for about 25 years at the Star-Gazette during an era when the newsroom was like family. We had similar dispositions and many conversations "solving" the troubles of the world, the Star-Gazette and its parent, Gannett. Brian had a kind, soft and empathetic manner - a good soul - and I saw his tutelage help many co-workers develop as journalists and people. I was blessed to know him and amazed at how he outwardly expressed a positive outlook through all his travails.
Bob Jamieson
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Richard Milazzo posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Pappalardo Family,
Very sorry to hear about Brian’s passing. We enjoyed his company every time he came to the Sanitary Barbershop. Our prayers are with you and your family. God Bless you all.
Craig and Rick Milazzo
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Jamie Lincoln posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
In loving memory of our dear friend and neighbor, Brian. His kindness and warmth will forever remain in our hearts.- Love- Jamie, Parker, and Evelyn.
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Connie Mitchell Dean posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
Brian and I were friends at Elmira College. As fellow English majors, we took many courses together and enjoyed time together in and out of the classroom. I have very fond memories of hanging out with him. He was a great conversationalist and had a kind soul. Rest in peace my friend.
Connie Mitchell Dean
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JoAnn Gilmore posted a condolence
Thursday, March 28, 2024
I was fortunate enough to have been a classmate and graduated with Brian from Elmira Free Academy in 1977. I too joined the Star-Gazette as a senior in high school and our friendship continued on for many years thereafter as fellow co-workers. What a wonderful time we had working at the paper. We were like family and the memories we made I will cherish forever. Fly high with the Angels my friend.
Jo-Ann (Thompson) Gilmore
A Memorial Tree was planted for Brian Pappalardo
Wednesday, March 27, 2024
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Wednesday, March 27, 2024
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